Since yesterday, im officially on vacation and i have finally time for an more detailed journal.
Many things happened this year and i´m very grateful for all the possibilities i had during this time.
If somebody would have told me years ago, that people would visit me at RP conventions to let me sign my illustrations in their books, i wouldn´t have believed that.
I want to write a bit about how i´ve made it to this point.
Sometimes people ask me, how i made it into the buisness.
I would not say that i´ve made it.
I don`t think that i´m "done" with trying to apply for jobs.
I still have MUUUUCH to do, to improve my skills and i still haven´t reached many goals, that i want to catch some day.
Staying ambitious and being critical is very important to get further.
If you think you´re "done" as an artist...you´re wrong.
Fortunately, i´ve got many jobs during the last months without putting too many effort in searching for them. I´m very happy that some publishers finally know me and my stuff, and are asking me to draw for their projects.
It took four years to get there.
Four years of improving, writing many mails, trying to stay in peoples mind by investing a lot of time in social media and conventions and finally investing a lot of money too, to buy art materials (for example a PS license, paper, pencils, buisness cards, marketing material, good prints of my work and so on).
It´s all about investments. Nobody has skills or connections just because it rains down on them.
If I look at the essential stuff, i arrive at the conclusion that it´s all about TIME. If you don´t invest time, you will get nowhere.
I know. many people wrote about this point before me and many people will write about it later, but I just wanted to explain my point of view.
Sometimes people tell me, that i have talent and that they couldn´t draw like me.
I always answer: No. I ´m just interested in dawing and if you would have the same interest, you could draw whatever you want.
If someone says, i´m talented, i know that they want to say something nice. I take it as a compliment, but at the ame time i feel the urge to correct their terms.
Talent is (for me) a nice term for "gifted".
But i don´t think that i´ve got my skills from somewhere beyond the clouds.
As a kid, i was interested in drawing...just like most kids are. As teenager i totally broke with it and tried to sing in bands, because i was interested in singing too.
Then i discovered drawing again because i discovered P&P RPG. I just wanted to visualize my characters and copied the hell out of comic books (Vampirella, Tomb Raider, Witchblade).
Some day my brain remembered the lines and proportions and i started to draw figures out of my head, but i was always unsatisfied with the results.
They never looked like i´ve wanted them to look like and i finally realized, that i have to learn the basics first.
My motivations was big. Bigger then my frustration during failing and failing again.
I started to learn by myself, bought books about drawing, took an nude drawing lesson, tried to get better and i still carry on with this.
So, if someone tells me that they have no talent, i mostly answer with "Talent isn´t existing. It´s all about interest, motivation and investment of time."
Sometimes young artists tell me that they don´t have the courage to apply for jobs with their stuff.
I often want to shake them and yell at their face: DO IT!
Yes. It needs courage to open yourself and to show your drawings, wich are done with passion and heartblood. It´s natural to be afraid of critique.
I´m still sometimes afraid of it too, because a drawing that i´ve done for me, that is no commission, that my ideas have born, is a little piece of an artists heart.
Open, bloody, vunerable.
You will start with drawings that are just like that. You may not have commissioned pieces with less emotional bonds to your heart.
But i tell you: it´s worth it!
It may (it will) happen that a professional will just seem "rude" to you and will tell you that your stuff "...is not what we are looking for." Or worse: "...it´s just not good enough."
Don´t let this bring you down!
Try to stand up, even if you may feel like never ever drawing again.
They don´t tell you that because they want to hurt you.
The most publishers that i´ve met during my first years were very nice and helpful.
The gave me honest feedback.
My friends and my family told me that my drawings are great, and they still say that although i´ve improved a lot!^^
What else shall they say? They love you, and they are laitys!
The only way to get good critique and feedback, if you want to professionalize your art is, to ask the pros!
I´ve made some bad experiences too. I even quitted drawing for a while, because an artist i´ve admired a lot, told me that i "...just should do drawing as a hobby."
It totally smashed all my dreams and motivation.
I wanted to draw.
I wanted to see my drawings in books.
After years, i´ve seen this artist again on many conventions and we talk together like nothing happened. I don´t think that this artist recognize me.
I´m just another colleague. A published illustrator. Yes, at the start of my career, but still an illustrator.
KEEP GOING! YOU WILL NAIL THIS!